Wednesday, 1 August 2012

Dear Lowry Vue...

Tonight I had to leave my seat to tell two kids "sat" on the front row for The Dark Knight Rises to stop wrestling and shut up. You read that correctly, wrestling. First off, shame on the Vue Lowry for doing next to nothing to prevent the screen becoming a jungle gym and secondly, shame on the sheer amount of tall, built guys who just sat there and watched a speccy nerd put a stop to it so they could enjoy their film.

Below is an email of complaint I've dashed off to this shameful cinema chain:

"I'd like to complain about how little I felt was done during tonight's 7pm showing of The Dark Knight Rises at Lowry Vue to minimise audience disturbance. There were two teenagers sat talking at the front of the auditorium whom I told an usher about but couldn't find as they had taken mercy on the rest of the audience and shut up for two minutes.

About ten minutes later, the noise started again and I decided to take matters into my own hands. When I reached their seats at the front of the auditorium they were wrestling and rolling around on the floor, so I told them to stop it and shut up. At this point another member of the audience got an usher and it looked like he had a word and stayed there for some time, but again, as soon as he left they started being noisy again. To make matters worst, another child was running around barefoot and as the credits started to roll fell and twisted his ankle, no doubt tired from the last half an hour's exercise. Don't pity him, he deserved it.

I've worked as an usher myself and know it can be difficult dealing with problem customers, but I'd like to ask two questions; Firstly, how often does an usher or other staff member check the audience is "behaving" during a film? I know this shouldn't be necessary as you'd expect people to be able to sit in relative silence for a couple of hours but evidently not. Secondly, how far does someone have to go before they are ejected from a screening? I've been going to the cinema for over twenty years and can state, without hyperbole, that I have never seen people wrestling in an auditorium.

As I took the time and effort to tell these children to stop messing around and shut up so people could enjoy their film, I'd appreciate it if you could take the time and effort to send me a non-automated response.

Thank you."

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Movie Talk on Sunday - Watching movies at home

Hello fine film folk,

Below are this week's questions for the increasingly popular Movie Talk on Sunday (#mtos), which I'll be firing at you from 8pm GMT on Sunday 22nd April. This week's topic is all about how you watch films in the comfort of your own home. Let's do this!

  1. What's your movie watching "ritual"?
  2. Do you prefer watching films at home or going to the cinema?
  3. When watching a film at home, will you watch in silence or talk through it?
  4. Do you prefer to watch films on a physical medium or have you embraced streaming?
  5. What's better, watching a film alone or watching with friends?
  6. What's your set-up like?
  7. If there's a movie on TV that you own, will you still watch it?
  8. How do you store your movies? Are they under lock and key or on display?
  9. Do you still use any of the dead formats; Betamax, VHS, HD-DVD etc?
  10. When you get home drunk after a night out, what's your go-to film?
Well, there you have it folks. Don't forget to use the hashtag #mtos on Sunday when you're answering and please feel free to follow me @discuss_cinema. 

See you on Sunday!

Sunday, 4 December 2011


Holy balls, I haven't blogged for a while.

I'll get you up to speed.

About a month ago I got Sky+ and I've been catching up on plenty of crap 80's action film I should have watched years ago. The best I've seen so far was definitely "Cobra", the film "Beverley Hills Cop" would have been.

Lovefilm have also upgraded my account to two discs at a time; so far getting my money's worth, watching two films a night and sending them straight back.

I'll keep you posted on more of musings on the films I watch throughout December.

Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Raging Bull

Watched Raging Bull for the first time in years last night and on Blu Ray of all things. I recently watched Taxi Driver on Blu and it knocked my socks off, so I was hoping for something similar with Raging Bull. It didn't make my spine tingle anywhere near as much but it's still a very brilliant film.

Watching it after Beverly Hills Cop 3 only made it seem more perfect.

It's been said a million times before but Robert De Niro was the greatest actor of his generation and it makes me sad that more or less everything he's been in in the last decade has been below par. But I guess all those restaurants and film festivals he owns need to be paid for somehow.

Sprawling essays have been written about how brilliant this film is, so I won't be writing any more than this to sum it up: it's one of the best films ever and with good reason, it's a film so lovingly made by a director who thought it was his swan song. I'm glad it wasn't, but if it were, I'd have been happy.

Monday, 24 October 2011

Beverley Hills Cop 2 & 3

Last week I revealed to the world that I hadn't seen Beverly Hills Cop and the world, by which I mean you fine people reading this blog and what follow me on Twitter, was shocked. I can understand the reaction, everyone in the world has seen Beverly Hills Cop; most of the people I know watched it as kids but I didn't and it just became one of those series I'd probably end up watching later.

Anyway, after scoring a Blu Ray of Beverly Hills Cop I am pleased to report that I loved it. It had just the right blend of action and comedy and it was great to see Eddie Murphy be funny.

Last night I watched Beverly Hills Cop 2, which is fundamentally the same film but with added "Tony Scott", but hell, I enjoyed it.

Right now I've just finished watching Beverly Hills Cop 3. I've never felt so compelled to do the washing up in my entire life. Boring set-pieces, stupid setting and a very different and unlikeable Axel Foley.

I look forward to seeing how Beverly Hills Cop 4 turns out.

Now that I've checked off a franchise the world was shocked I hadn't seen, time for another. Die Hard.

Sunday, 23 October 2011

A Serbian Film

Without a doubt the biggest pile of shit I've seen all year. It was shocking for the point of being shocking and any allegory to the Serbian government's treatment of it's people IS an afterthought; it's like a student at college who makes some terrible experimental film and then comes up with the meaning on the day of the screening.

Having only watched the heavily cut version I can easily say I wasn't shocked and although I didn't enjoy it I'd be intrigued to see if seeing the uncut version would change my opinion. It was also hard for me to be shocked or offended when he was trying to cut off what was very obviously a dildo and not his dick.

For me, it was just a peg above The Human Centipede and that's purely because it was made with some level of competence.

Verdict: Waste of time

Thursday, 20 October 2011

Down In Front!

Here's the link to my latest EatSleepLiveFilm post. Head on over and give it a read: